Bigshakey's Excellent Adventure

Been a while.

2010-07-01T16:52:00.000-07:00

Let's see, Feb 13th to now is 113 days. Pretty bad.
I'd love to report that I've met my goal weight, but that's not the case. No fear, I haven't gained any weight, but the weight loss has come to a crawl. Only recently have I started to see the scale move again. What's going on? Hell if I know. But in my last meeting with Dr. Woodman, he asked me the same question. And before I could begin my defensive theory, he interrupted me by saying "you're obviously doing something wrong!". Yes and no in my opinion. On the YES, I have been eating things with sugar like Frosted Mini Wheats, Mike & Ike's, Fat Free Ice Cream, occasional bite of chocolate, etc.. On the NO, I am still maintaining my caloric intake budget as best as I can. My fat intake is still limited to 20 to 25 grams a day, calories between 1000 and 1500 net. I'm learning that it is not just about watching one thing. It's got to be kind of a team effort. Low fat and high calories will still result in weight gain. It is, however, a great learning process because I am my own experiment. I am the guinea pig and the scientist. With most experiments, it takes time to see the results.

I injured my calf muscle back in March while playing racquetball. It was a slight pull in the muscle behind the knee and only really bothered me when I made quick direction changes while playing. I couldn't thrust off of it. That was my main workout and best way to burn some calories. I tried to just use the elliptical for a while, but it wasn't enough. I started walking to stretch my calf, and over time, it began to heal. A mile turned into two, then three. Then I started jogging. Again, my distance and endurance picked up. So now I'm jogging three miles at a time five days a week. This is why I started to see the scale move.

I've read all about plateaus and the way the body adjusts to itself, so I've had to step back and really try to make some re-adjustments, both mentally and physically. I'm backing off the sugar a bit and increasing my jogging distance. I have also read about "caloric zig zag", and might try that for a few weeks. That is where you change the amount of calories you eat on a daily basis. This is supposed to keep the body from getting used to the same thing everyday and slowing down the metabolism. Changing the numbers will, hopefully, confuse it back into calorie burning mode. We'll see.

I also learned that avoiding my blog because I didn't have anything good to write about was a cop out. I'll try to do better.

My weight today is 248.5

Chugging along...

2010-02-13T07:09:00.000-08:00

The longer I go between posts, the less I remember what happened since the last.

Most recently, I'm getting over a painful bout of something going on in my stomach. For the last couple of days, I've had a cramping/knotting/butterflying/gaseous pain that has caused a level of discomfort that I haven't had in a long time. And I've never had this kind of feeling before. I went to Dr. Woodman's office to get his opinion before going to the hospital....it was that bad. He removed some fluid from my band and explained it would alleviate any swelling that might be occurring. He also said something might have gotten stuck, but I hadn't eaten anything in the last few days that was textured enough to get stuck. So, I figured I'd give it a little time before I went back to the hospital. I'll stay on liquids for the next couple of days to give my stomach a break, and see how it goes. There is a slight possibility I had some type of food poisoning from some eggs a friend gave me from his home raised chickens. I didn't have usual diarrhea or fever that goes along with it though. I don't really know what it is.

January was a long cold month...and a bit of a plateau month as well. I fluctuated from 262 to 265 for just about the whole month, even though I kept my caloric and fat budget on track. Sometimes that is just your body recalibrating its internal settings. I accept the plateaus now as part of my overall journey to change myself. They are just a sign that a change is happening. The fat me and the skinny me are at war.

During my last scheduled visit with Dr. Woodman, I explained to him that I felt I was barely in the green zone as far as hunger was concerned. I felt I could go another month without a fill. I focus now on controlling the amount of food that is in front of me rather than the amount it takes to make me fill full. Sometimes there is a lag from the time I stop eating till the time I feel full. And when I eat till I'm full, after a few minutes, I feel as if I've eaten to much.

I'm hoping to be at my goal weight by July. That would be a loss of about 8 lbs a month, very do-able. We'll see....

Today, I weigh 256.0

Well Happy New Year!

2010-01-05T20:36:00.000-08:00

I feel like I've been a slacker in updating my blog in a timely manner, but my excuses sound really good to me. December was pretty busy and I'm glad to have the holidays in the rear view mirror. Also had to finish an online Masters class that, of course, I waited till the last minute to finish my assignments.

I had my third visit at Dr. Woodmans' office Dec 28th. Up to that point, I had 2 fills under my belt...well, really one since the first one wasn't really a fill per se. This time, I met with Dr. Woodman himself. The other two visits were with his nurses. Now.....Dr. Woodman has quite a reputation for being a straight shooter. He will not sugar coat anything, nor will he hesitate to chew some ass if needed. I had been hovering around 272lbs for most of December, and I attributed that to having willingly sacrificed some work out time to get other things done. Class, work, shopping, traveling, etc... I knew we would be talking about this, so like a defense attorney, I prepared my case. As I explained myself to him, I started to realize that my reasons didn't really sound so good. I was putting the one thing that I wanted, and needed, on the back burner. And come to think of it, it is at about that third or fourth month that my previous weight loss attempts reversed their course. I kinda felt like I had let him down, and his nurses, and all the people who were in the operating room on the day of my surgery, even the insurance company that made it possible. Sounds a little crazy, but that's how I think sometimes. Because I still felt I was eating more than I needed, I requested another fill. He stressed that I needed to set a portion size and eat it, not eat till I fell full. If I kept eating till I was full, there is a pretty good chance of stretching the upper pouch.

Same process, numbing spray, poke out belly, insert needle and squeeze the saline into the port. This time was a little different than the last. Last time, I actually felt a tight feeling deep inside, like the band was pinching a little more. This time, I felt nothing. I actually thought that Dr. Woodman might have given me a "ghost fill" after the little pep talk...thinking that the motivational speech might be enough to change my habits, kinda like a psychological experiment. Even a couple days after the visit, I didn't feel any different. But the third day, holy cow, what a difference. I can eat a little over half of what I was eating the week before. Not sure why the delay, but I am in the green zone now.

With my fill and renewed commitment, I've broken the plateau I was on for almost a month. I feel great and am looking forward to the next few of months. I hope to be at my goal weight by June or July. I love the reactions of people who I haven't seen in a while. While playing racquetball tonight, I received probably one of the best compliments of all time. While between games, I was talking with a group of players. One of them, a rather loud and flamboyant guy, was talking. He stopped mid sentence and said "Damn! How much weight has your fat ass lost?!" (you have to know him to get the full effect). It really made me feel good.

My weight today is 267.5

Second Fill / 5K / Halfway

2009-12-05T20:31:00.000-08:00

I had another monthly visit with Dr. Woodmans' office back just before Thanksgiving...on the 23rd. Got a second fill. This one was an actual fill, whereas the first fill was really just priming the line to the band (the nurse explained). I really didn't feel a change after the first one, but this one was definitely noticeable. Up to this point, I had no problem eating any kinds of food. Chicken, the main protien source of my diet, went down smooth. I now have to be a little more careful with the bite size and speed at which I eat. Sometimes it sloooooowly creeps down my oesophagus and waits in line to enter my stomach. Meats and some vegetables (broccoli) are most noticeable, everything else sems ok. I go back on Dec 28th for another visit.

I participated in my first ever 5K this morning. I've noticed on most blogs that a 5K was sort of a goal, but not for me. I was more motivated to participate with good friends and have fun. Actually, it was a lot of fun. I jogged about 1.75 miles, then had to walk for .5, then jogged the rest. Took me right at 45:00. I surprised myself because I really never liked jogging or running. But being 60 lbs lighter tends to make a difference. I think I'll try more of them.

60 lbs puts me right at the halfway point for my goal weight. Right now I'm still trying to find that sweet spot where I balance my diet and workouts to keep the loss at a steady pace. It's a little frustrating to see it come off slow, and by slow I mean a weight fluctuation for a few days, then a pound drop, then more fluctuation. I'm still pretty close to the 2 lb per week (or 10 day) average. Nice surprise though, I fit comfortably into size 38 jeans today.

My weight today is 274.0

reclassified. (repost)

2009-11-24T06:51:00.000-08:00

I have made the transition from morbidly obese to severely obese, according to the Body Mass Index. Doesn't really sound all that great, going from worse to really bad, but the trend is good. And it's one of those things that you kind of notice after having read all of the materials that you get when you have this kind of surgery. I actually have a user manual. It's an acheived goal, and there is no better fuel for a journey. I am also approaching the weight at which I started college back in 92. That brings back some good memories. I can't imagine what it will feel like when I reach my goal weight. I haven't been there since....geez...I guess it's been since 9th grade or so. I can't remember.

I'm weeding out my 3X clothes now. I'm comfortable in 2X and looking at XL like a hungry lion looks at a gazelle. Shopping for clothes used to be so damn depressing. I was not a pleasant person to be around, and I preferred to do it alone. The bigger I became, the less I look at myself in the mirror. And I tended to focus above the shoulders. Only when I looked at pictures of me would I realize what I really looked like, and I didn't feel like what I looked like. It is a crappy cycle.

I go back to Woodman's office on the 22nd and I'll request another fill. Just in time for the holidays. I still feel like I am eating more than I should in order to get that full feeling. Not the bust your gut unzip your pants to breathe full, just a feeling of satisfaction. There are days when I can eat less and days that require more.

I'm a little over 2 and 1/2 months since my pre-surgery diet began, and I can see why some people don't lose weight after getting banded. The temptation to eat comfort foods is as strong as it ever was. After the healing is complete, it is easy for the old habits to start creeping in. But why have surgery if you are not willing to change your lifestyle? I fully understand Dr. Woodmans' last words to me before I was wheeled into surgery; "This surgery is not going to make you lose the weight".

My weight today is 278.0

Fill'er up please...

2009-11-06T15:00:00.000-08:00

So I went in for my first appointment post surgery back on Oct 26th. Dr. Woodman wasn't in, so I met with his nurse practitioner. She asked a bunch of questions and showed me a chart that had 3 zones of hunger, red, yellow and green. Each zone had some descriptions about different levels of hunger and some associated side effects. I explained I was beginning to feel as if I was eating more than I need to in order to feel full. With that, she said "Let's give you a fill". I was a little surprised because most everything I read said the first fill came after the first visit.
She sprayed some topical numbing spray on my side where the port is located. I stuck my belly out (like when you're trying to look fat) as far as I could while she inserted the needle in the port and injected the saline. I forgot to ask her how much was injected, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't much. I go back Nov 23rd for a follow up and another fill if needed.
Since then, I haven't noticed much with the fill. I feel like it might take a couple of them to get in that green zone where I can eat smaller amounts. I'm still maintaining my caloric and fat budget, so no worries there.

My weight today is 282.0

36 days after....

2009-10-21T19:45:00.000-07:00

Well, 19 days since my last post...longer than I wanted to, but it has been a busy month. My gift of procrastination was a factor. Things have been good so far. I'm still getting acquainted with my new parameters of food consumption. At this point, enough time has passed to consider my stomach fully healed. I was cleared to eat regular foods on the 21st. My incisions are still healing though. The two longest are still open wounds, but are beginning to close. They are right in an area that, when I sit or bend, contracts and expands. Also, when I work out or play racquetball, my wet shirt rubs any scab away.

Now, in my mindset, being cleared to eat regular foods means nothing to me. I'm not going to begin eating any of the foods I've been avoiding for the last two months. I will keep my caloric and fat budget as planned. I don't want to undo anything I've done so far, or get comfortable with eating those good old meals that put me in this position. And the thing that pisses me off the most is to stay at the same weight for more than a five days, which has happened twice. Based on my research, I know I will hit plateaus. Our bodies make adjustments to defend themselves. There are ways, however, to trick our bodies.

I just got back from a week long trip to Paris and Budapest. I was a little worried that I would have a hard time travelling and eating properly, but things worked out good. I stuffed my bag with my fat free tuna packets as a backup...which did come in handy. In Budapest, I shopped a local grocery store for turkey / chicken lunch meats and juices. Nothing on the packages was in English, so there was no interpretation of nutrition labels. I had to wing it....but I was confident in the choices I made. I worked out in the hotel gym when I could. I was hoping not to gain any weight, but as it turns out, I lost five pounds.

I can see a slight change in the mirror as far as my face goes. My sunglasses are a little looser. And it's the little things that are rewarding to me. I had to drill about 6 extra holes in my belt to keep from giving everybody butt crack. I can cross my legs comfortably. I'm getting quicker in the racquetball court. When I used to jump seat on my companies aircraft, it looked like I was wrestling a squirrel in my lap to get the seat belt on....now there is belt strap left over. I feel as if I'm smiling more.

The band is doing what I expected. It is an invisible barrier that I sometimes hit. It has motivated me to not give up. And after all I had to go through, it scares me to fail.

My weight today is 285.0

2 weeks after...

2009-10-02T06:43:00.000-07:00

Everything is back to normal as far as I can tell. I'm back to the routine I had a couple of weeks before surgery. The weight loss has settled down to a slower pace having introduced more liquids and 3 meals a day. I could actually get by on 2 meals a day (bout 6 oz each), but I notice the difference in energy when I don't get enough protein. I haven't had any problems yet with eating a variety of meats, chewed very well of course. Turkey, fish and chicken have been going down good. I had read other blogs where some people had a hard time with chicken. If it's dry, I stay away from it.

It's nice to be able to fit into everything that is in my closet now. Although I can't see the weight loss in the mirror, it shows in clothes. Some stuff has been on hangars so long it has become vintage.

At 6 weeks post-op (Oct 26th), I go back for a visit with Dr. Woodman. He'll check over everything and determine if I'need a fill. I'm assuming that will be based on my feedback about hunger patterns. Although I haven't had any problems with hunger yet, I feel like that is on the horizon.

Today, my weight is 296.0

1 week

2009-09-21T19:46:00.000-07:00

I'm still alive after a week. All of the soreness is gone, I think I coughed it all away. I'm running on about a 1/4 tank as far as energy goes, but that is getting better as I increase my intake of protein. Most of it now comes from a Whey Protein shake that I drink 3 times a day, it yields about 80g. But thank god I now transition to pureed food! I pureed a cup of vegetable soup tonight, sweet baby jesus it was so good to have a hearty taste and consistency in a meal. And I felt for the first time what it will be like to be full with the Lap Band in place. One cup was all it took. It felt sooo good to feel full.

I have been forced to do something with this surgery that I never attempted to do with any of the diets I tried. Micromanagement of nutrients, specifically fat intake. I had always set a calorie budget and shot for it. But just as important is the intake of fat. And if you took one day out of your life and wrote down the fat grams you consume, you'd see why obesity is such a problem. So, for me, my daily budget is now: calories (net) - 1000, fat grams - max 25, protein - 70-80 grams, sodium - 2400 grams. It's very hard to restrict the sodium. Most of the time, you can't find low fat and low sodium, it's one or the other. If you have an Iphone, there is an application that is perfect for tracking everything you need on a diet. "Lose It". It has been instrumental in my success. As I transition from pureed foods to solid foods, I will see the rapid weight loss subside, and the real work will begin to maintain the average 2 lb a week decline.

My weight today is 299.0

2 days post-op..

2009-09-17T20:35:00.000-07:00

I spent the day yesterday walking around the mall trying to get a little exercise and work some of this soreness out. It doesn't help that I am also still recovering from a cold that I caught 4 days before surgery. The coughing up junk hurts pretty bad cause I'm using all the muscles in my gut. Not pretty to watch. People in the mall looked like they were going to call 911 after witnessing my painful hacking. I'm starting to feel the effects on not having enough protein or energy.

Actually felt pretty good this morning. The soreness is noticeably subsiding and I am drinking more liquids. I haven't been concerned with food to this point. I'm not even close to being hungry. I'm sure that will set in as my gut heals and the swelling goes away. It's been kind of a weird experience seeing and smelling great food and not having the first inclination to eat. It's like a circuit breaker is popped between my senses of sight / smell and the desire to eat. I've been fascinated watching Man vs Food. I'm even cooking meals without the desire to taste or eat of it.

So, whats it feel like to have a relatively large piece of plastic and silicone wrapped around my stomach? I can't feel it! No pinching or anything. I figured I'd feel something like a knot or cramp if I turned the right way, but nothing....yet. There is a port attached to my abdomen muscle beneath the skin on my lower left side. It is still bandaged, so I can't see if it is noticeable yet. It will be used when I require "fills" to regulate my appetite. Saline will be injected into the port, which will tighten the band around my stoma (the pouch that has been created).

Over the next couple of days I'll be eating things that can be sucked through a straw. Soups, yogurt, pudding, protein shakes, all low fat of course. I'll get back to my exercise routine as well.

My weight today is 306.

Damn, it's done.

2009-09-15T17:07:00.000-07:00

06:30 am. An early start this morning....arrived at the hospital and did the usual sign in and wait. After about 45 mins, I was escorted back for the prep. It's pretty much the same prep as for any procedure; I.V. port, thousand questions, meet with different nurses, vitals taken, etc.. Dr. Woodman stopped by to go over a couple of last minute things. He emphasized "This surgery is not going to make you lose weight. There has to be a lifestyle change." And with that, it was time to roll.

09:15 am. As I'm wheeled into the operating room, I can't help but notice the ancillary things. The chilly temperature, the ominous operating table light hovering above the "stage like" table. The nurses and techs all working in kind of a coordinated chaos. "Dirty Laundry" playing on an ipod dock across the room. As I'm strapped to the table, Dr. Woodman walks in. At this point, he has achieved celebrity status with me because of what he is about to do. The doors close, the music fades, and the lights go dim....

My first thoughts after waking up from surgery...
I'm alive.
I am a different person.
It doesn't really hurt that bad.
My surgery virginity has been taken.
Everyone's being really nice.

It took about 15 mins to get oriented. I was pretty groggy and drifted in and out of that semi-dream like state. After a few questions, I was wheeled into a recovery room. I drank a few sips of water, walked around a bit, and got acquainted with my new incisions. They look like the big dipper. I was asked to convey my pain on a scale from 1 to 10, and the whole time I felt it never went over a 3. It feels like a soccer player stepped across my belly. After a somewhat uneventful recovery, I was given the OK to go home. So at 02:30pm, I left.

For the rest of the evening, I'll just chill. Apple juice and t.v. Clear liquids for the next three days, then regular liquids.

It has taken me 8 months of dedicated planning to get here, and now I'm glad it's over. The new chapter begins...

Uh oh....

2009-09-15T04:48:00.000-07:00

This is about the time I start wondering....crap , am I doing the right thing??

T minus 18 hours and counting...

2009-09-14T09:50:00.000-07:00

Surgery is a go. Dr. Woodmans' nurse gave the ok to proceed. And because of a cancellation, I get moved to an earlier time. Show time at the hospital is 06:30 am, surgery start time is 09:15 am. Hopefully I'll be heading home around 2:00 pm ish. So I'm on clear liquids for the day and get to drink a bottle of magnesium citrate (aka colon blow) mid afternoon.

My weight before my pre-op diet (about 3 weeks ago) was 334 lbs.
My weight today is 314 lbs.

I was on a pretty restrictive diet for that time. I limited my daily caloric intake to 1000 or less (net). Fat grams to less than 25. Protein to at least 60 to 80 grams. I either walked an hour each day, or played racquetball when I could. I feel like I am mentally prepared for the way things will have to be after surgery.

I've come to realize just how much food had consumed my thoughts throughout the day. It was a habit to stop on the way home from work and get a burger "for the ride home", irregardless if I was hungry or not. Or eat something when I got bored. The amont of food I could eat is another thing. I felt full when the pain set in, then it was too late. Being on a restrictive diet forces you to confront those habits and the feelings associated with them. I can't say that I was addicted to food, but, you know what they say the first step is.....

Food will still consume a lot of my time, but in a more constructive way. I now have to plan meals ahead of time and stick to a regular pattern of eating. I'll be on 2 weeks of liquids followed by two to four weeks of pureed to soft food. After about six weeks I'll transition back to regular meals in a limited quantity, approx 4 ozs.

Stay tuned.....

Whats going on?

2009-09-13T18:01:00.000-07:00

I've created this blog to chronicle my journey to a healthier weight with the use of the Lap Band. My surgery is set for Sept. 15th at 09:15 am. However, two days ago, I've come down with a flu like illness which may delay my date. It hit pretty hard and fast, so there is a chance that it may be clear before the next two days. I go in to the doctors' office tomorrow for my weigh in and any other pre surgery instructions. I'm keeping my fingers crossed! But in the interest of safety, another week or two won't kill me.

I started this journey back on January 5th at a seminar given by Dr. Woodman. I had just finished up a workplace biggest loser contest in which I failed miserably. I was one of the two who came up with the idea to have the contest at work. And, wouldn't you know it, the skinniest (lightest) guy won the contest and raked in $1100 bucks. My problem is not so much the ability to lose weight, it's keeping it off. After a lot or research, the Lap Band looked like the best option in helping me achieve my goal of long term weight loss.

So, I'll try to go into as much detail of the process as I can through my blog. Reading other peoples' blogs help me understand the things the doctors don't really talk about, the emotions, the physical aspects, food tribulations, etc... Of the blogs I researched, 99% were women, so I'm offering a male perspective.

Off we go, we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Words into action.

2009-09-10T19:59:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally created my blog after putting it off for no good reason. So this post will really be more of an experiment to feel my way around this site. I will gather my thoughts, talk to myself, and get back to you.