reclassified. (repost)

I have made the transition from morbidly obese to severely obese, according to the Body Mass Index. Doesn't really sound all that great, going from worse to really bad, but the trend is good. And it's one of those things that you kind of notice after having read all of the materials that you get when you have this kind of surgery. I actually have a user manual. It's an acheived goal, and there is no better fuel for a journey. I am also approaching the weight at which I started college back in 92. That brings back some good memories. I can't imagine what it will feel like when I reach my goal weight. I haven't been there since....geez...I guess it's been since 9th grade or so. I can't remember.

I'm weeding out my 3X clothes now. I'm comfortable in 2X and looking at XL like a hungry lion looks at a gazelle. Shopping for clothes used to be so damn depressing. I was not a pleasant person to be around, and I preferred to do it alone. The bigger I became, the less I look at myself in the mirror. And I tended to focus above the shoulders. Only when I looked at pictures of me would I realize what I really looked like, and I didn't feel like what I looked like. It is a crappy cycle.

I go back to Woodman's office on the 22nd and I'll request another fill. Just in time for the holidays. I still feel like I am eating more than I should in order to get that full feeling. Not the bust your gut unzip your pants to breathe full, just a feeling of satisfaction. There are days when I can eat less and days that require more.

I'm a little over 2 and 1/2 months since my pre-surgery diet began, and I can see why some people don't lose weight after getting banded. The temptation to eat comfort foods is as strong as it ever was. After the healing is complete, it is easy for the old habits to start creeping in. But why have surgery if you are not willing to change your lifestyle? I fully understand Dr. Woodmans' last words to me before I was wheeled into surgery; "This surgery is not going to make you lose the weight".

My weight today is 278.0