reclassified. (repost)

I have made the transition from morbidly obese to severely obese, according to the Body Mass Index. Doesn't really sound all that great, going from worse to really bad, but the trend is good. And it's one of those things that you kind of notice after having read all of the materials that you get when you have this kind of surgery. I actually have a user manual. It's an acheived goal, and there is no better fuel for a journey. I am also approaching the weight at which I started college back in 92. That brings back some good memories. I can't imagine what it will feel like when I reach my goal weight. I haven't been there since....geez...I guess it's been since 9th grade or so. I can't remember.

I'm weeding out my 3X clothes now. I'm comfortable in 2X and looking at XL like a hungry lion looks at a gazelle. Shopping for clothes used to be so damn depressing. I was not a pleasant person to be around, and I preferred to do it alone. The bigger I became, the less I look at myself in the mirror. And I tended to focus above the shoulders. Only when I looked at pictures of me would I realize what I really looked like, and I didn't feel like what I looked like. It is a crappy cycle.

I go back to Woodman's office on the 22nd and I'll request another fill. Just in time for the holidays. I still feel like I am eating more than I should in order to get that full feeling. Not the bust your gut unzip your pants to breathe full, just a feeling of satisfaction. There are days when I can eat less and days that require more.

I'm a little over 2 and 1/2 months since my pre-surgery diet began, and I can see why some people don't lose weight after getting banded. The temptation to eat comfort foods is as strong as it ever was. After the healing is complete, it is easy for the old habits to start creeping in. But why have surgery if you are not willing to change your lifestyle? I fully understand Dr. Woodmans' last words to me before I was wheeled into surgery; "This surgery is not going to make you lose the weight".

My weight today is 278.0

Fill'er up please...

So I went in for my first appointment post surgery back on Oct 26th. Dr. Woodman wasn't in, so I met with his nurse practitioner. She asked a bunch of questions and showed me a chart that had 3 zones of hunger, red, yellow and green. Each zone had some descriptions about different levels of hunger and some associated side effects. I explained I was beginning to feel as if I was eating more than I need to in order to feel full. With that, she said "Let's give you a fill". I was a little surprised because most everything I read said the first fill came after the first visit.
She sprayed some topical numbing spray on my side where the port is located. I stuck my belly out (like when you're trying to look fat) as far as I could while she inserted the needle in the port and injected the saline. I forgot to ask her how much was injected, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't much. I go back Nov 23rd for a follow up and another fill if needed.
Since then, I haven't noticed much with the fill. I feel like it might take a couple of them to get in that green zone where I can eat smaller amounts. I'm still maintaining my caloric and fat budget, so no worries there.

My weight today is 282.0

36 days after....

Well, 19 days since my last post...longer than I wanted to, but it has been a busy month. My gift of procrastination was a factor. Things have been good so far. I'm still getting acquainted with my new parameters of food consumption. At this point, enough time has passed to consider my stomach fully healed. I was cleared to eat regular foods on the 21st. My incisions are still healing though. The two longest are still open wounds, but are beginning to close. They are right in an area that, when I sit or bend, contracts and expands. Also, when I work out or play racquetball, my wet shirt rubs any scab away.

Now, in my mindset, being cleared to eat regular foods means nothing to me. I'm not going to begin eating any of the foods I've been avoiding for the last two months. I will keep my caloric and fat budget as planned. I don't want to undo anything I've done so far, or get comfortable with eating those good old meals that put me in this position. And the thing that pisses me off the most is to stay at the same weight for more than a five days, which has happened twice. Based on my research, I know I will hit plateaus. Our bodies make adjustments to defend themselves. There are ways, however, to trick our bodies.

I just got back from a week long trip to Paris and Budapest. I was a little worried that I would have a hard time travelling and eating properly, but things worked out good. I stuffed my bag with my fat free tuna packets as a backup...which did come in handy. In Budapest, I shopped a local grocery store for turkey / chicken lunch meats and juices. Nothing on the packages was in English, so there was no interpretation of nutrition labels. I had to wing it....but I was confident in the choices I made. I worked out in the hotel gym when I could. I was hoping not to gain any weight, but as it turns out, I lost five pounds.

I can see a slight change in the mirror as far as my face goes. My sunglasses are a little looser. And it's the little things that are rewarding to me. I had to drill about 6 extra holes in my belt to keep from giving everybody butt crack. I can cross my legs comfortably. I'm getting quicker in the racquetball court. When I used to jump seat on my companies aircraft, it looked like I was wrestling a squirrel in my lap to get the seat belt on....now there is belt strap left over. I feel as if I'm smiling more.

The band is doing what I expected. It is an invisible barrier that I sometimes hit. It has motivated me to not give up. And after all I had to go through, it scares me to fail.

My weight today is 285.0

2 weeks after...

Everything is back to normal as far as I can tell. I'm back to the routine I had a couple of weeks before surgery. The weight loss has settled down to a slower pace having introduced more liquids and 3 meals a day. I could actually get by on 2 meals a day (bout 6 oz each), but I notice the difference in energy when I don't get enough protein. I haven't had any problems yet with eating a variety of meats, chewed very well of course. Turkey, fish and chicken have been going down good. I had read other blogs where some people had a hard time with chicken. If it's dry, I stay away from it.

It's nice to be able to fit into everything that is in my closet now. Although I can't see the weight loss in the mirror, it shows in clothes. Some stuff has been on hangars so long it has become vintage.

At 6 weeks post-op (Oct 26th), I go back for a visit with Dr. Woodman. He'll check over everything and determine if I'need a fill. I'm assuming that will be based on my feedback about hunger patterns. Although I haven't had any problems with hunger yet, I feel like that is on the horizon.

Today, my weight is 296.0

1 week

I'm still alive after a week. All of the soreness is gone, I think I coughed it all away. I'm running on about a 1/4 tank as far as energy goes, but that is getting better as I increase my intake of protein. Most of it now comes from a Whey Protein shake that I drink 3 times a day, it yields about 80g. But thank god I now transition to pureed food! I pureed a cup of vegetable soup tonight, sweet baby jesus it was so good to have a hearty taste and consistency in a meal. And I felt for the first time what it will be like to be full with the Lap Band in place. One cup was all it took. It felt sooo good to feel full.

I have been forced to do something with this surgery that I never attempted to do with any of the diets I tried. Micromanagement of nutrients, specifically fat intake. I had always set a calorie budget and shot for it. But just as important is the intake of fat. And if you took one day out of your life and wrote down the fat grams you consume, you'd see why obesity is such a problem. So, for me, my daily budget is now: calories (net) - 1000, fat grams - max 25, protein - 70-80 grams, sodium - 2400 grams. It's very hard to restrict the sodium. Most of the time, you can't find low fat and low sodium, it's one or the other. If you have an Iphone, there is an application that is perfect for tracking everything you need on a diet. "Lose It". It has been instrumental in my success. As I transition from pureed foods to solid foods, I will see the rapid weight loss subside, and the real work will begin to maintain the average 2 lb a week decline.

My weight today is 299.0

2 days post-op..

I spent the day yesterday walking around the mall trying to get a little exercise and work some of this soreness out. It doesn't help that I am also still recovering from a cold that I caught 4 days before surgery. The coughing up junk hurts pretty bad cause I'm using all the muscles in my gut. Not pretty to watch. People in the mall looked like they were going to call 911 after witnessing my painful hacking. I'm starting to feel the effects on not having enough protein or energy.

Actually felt pretty good this morning. The soreness is noticeably subsiding and I am drinking more liquids. I haven't been concerned with food to this point. I'm not even close to being hungry. I'm sure that will set in as my gut heals and the swelling goes away. It's been kind of a weird experience seeing and smelling great food and not having the first inclination to eat. It's like a circuit breaker is popped between my senses of sight / smell and the desire to eat. I've been fascinated watching Man vs Food. I'm even cooking meals without the desire to taste or eat of it.

So, whats it feel like to have a relatively large piece of plastic and silicone wrapped around my stomach? I can't feel it! No pinching or anything. I figured I'd feel something like a knot or cramp if I turned the right way, but nothing....yet. There is a port attached to my abdomen muscle beneath the skin on my lower left side. It is still bandaged, so I can't see if it is noticeable yet. It will be used when I require "fills" to regulate my appetite. Saline will be injected into the port, which will tighten the band around my stoma (the pouch that has been created).

Over the next couple of days I'll be eating things that can be sucked through a straw. Soups, yogurt, pudding, protein shakes, all low fat of course. I'll get back to my exercise routine as well.

My weight today is 306.

Damn, it's done.

06:30 am. An early start this morning....arrived at the hospital and did the usual sign in and wait. After about 45 mins, I was escorted back for the prep. It's pretty much the same prep as for any procedure; I.V. port, thousand questions, meet with different nurses, vitals taken, etc.. Dr. Woodman stopped by to go over a couple of last minute things. He emphasized "This surgery is not going to make you lose weight. There has to be a lifestyle change." And with that, it was time to roll.

09:15 am. As I'm wheeled into the operating room, I can't help but notice the ancillary things. The chilly temperature, the ominous operating table light hovering above the "stage like" table. The nurses and techs all working in kind of a coordinated chaos. "Dirty Laundry" playing on an ipod dock across the room. As I'm strapped to the table, Dr. Woodman walks in. At this point, he has achieved celebrity status with me because of what he is about to do. The doors close, the music fades, and the lights go dim....

My first thoughts after waking up from surgery...
I'm alive.
I am a different person.
It doesn't really hurt that bad.
My surgery virginity has been taken.
Everyone's being really nice.

It took about 15 mins to get oriented. I was pretty groggy and drifted in and out of that semi-dream like state. After a few questions, I was wheeled into a recovery room. I drank a few sips of water, walked around a bit, and got acquainted with my new incisions. They look like the big dipper. I was asked to convey my pain on a scale from 1 to 10, and the whole time I felt it never went over a 3. It feels like a soccer player stepped across my belly. After a somewhat uneventful recovery, I was given the OK to go home. So at 02:30pm, I left.

For the rest of the evening, I'll just chill. Apple juice and t.v. Clear liquids for the next three days, then regular liquids.

It has taken me 8 months of dedicated planning to get here, and now I'm glad it's over. The new chapter begins...