Well Happy New Year!

I feel like I've been a slacker in updating my blog in a timely manner, but my excuses sound really good to me. December was pretty busy and I'm glad to have the holidays in the rear view mirror. Also had to finish an online Masters class that, of course, I waited till the last minute to finish my assignments.

I had my third visit at Dr. Woodmans' office Dec 28th. Up to that point, I had 2 fills under my belt...well, really one since the first one wasn't really a fill per se. This time, I met with Dr. Woodman himself. The other two visits were with his nurses. Now.....Dr. Woodman has quite a reputation for being a straight shooter. He will not sugar coat anything, nor will he hesitate to chew some ass if needed. I had been hovering around 272lbs for most of December, and I attributed that to having willingly sacrificed some work out time to get other things done. Class, work, shopping, traveling, etc... I knew we would be talking about this, so like a defense attorney, I prepared my case. As I explained myself to him, I started to realize that my reasons didn't really sound so good. I was putting the one thing that I wanted, and needed, on the back burner. And come to think of it, it is at about that third or fourth month that my previous weight loss attempts reversed their course. I kinda felt like I had let him down, and his nurses, and all the people who were in the operating room on the day of my surgery, even the insurance company that made it possible. Sounds a little crazy, but that's how I think sometimes. Because I still felt I was eating more than I needed, I requested another fill. He stressed that I needed to set a portion size and eat it, not eat till I fell full. If I kept eating till I was full, there is a pretty good chance of stretching the upper pouch.

Same process, numbing spray, poke out belly, insert needle and squeeze the saline into the port. This time was a little different than the last. Last time, I actually felt a tight feeling deep inside, like the band was pinching a little more. This time, I felt nothing. I actually thought that Dr. Woodman might have given me a "ghost fill" after the little pep talk...thinking that the motivational speech might be enough to change my habits, kinda like a psychological experiment. Even a couple days after the visit, I didn't feel any different. But the third day, holy cow, what a difference. I can eat a little over half of what I was eating the week before. Not sure why the delay, but I am in the green zone now.

With my fill and renewed commitment, I've broken the plateau I was on for almost a month. I feel great and am looking forward to the next few of months. I hope to be at my goal weight by June or July. I love the reactions of people who I haven't seen in a while. While playing racquetball tonight, I received probably one of the best compliments of all time. While between games, I was talking with a group of players. One of them, a rather loud and flamboyant guy, was talking. He stopped mid sentence and said "Damn! How much weight has your fat ass lost?!" (you have to know him to get the full effect). It really made me feel good.

My weight today is 267.5

Second Fill / 5K / Halfway

I had another monthly visit with Dr. Woodmans' office back just before Thanksgiving...on the 23rd. Got a second fill. This one was an actual fill, whereas the first fill was really just priming the line to the band (the nurse explained). I really didn't feel a change after the first one, but this one was definitely noticeable. Up to this point, I had no problem eating any kinds of food. Chicken, the main protien source of my diet, went down smooth. I now have to be a little more careful with the bite size and speed at which I eat. Sometimes it sloooooowly creeps down my oesophagus and waits in line to enter my stomach. Meats and some vegetables (broccoli) are most noticeable, everything else sems ok. I go back on Dec 28th for another visit.

I participated in my first ever 5K this morning. I've noticed on most blogs that a 5K was sort of a goal, but not for me. I was more motivated to participate with good friends and have fun. Actually, it was a lot of fun. I jogged about 1.75 miles, then had to walk for .5, then jogged the rest. Took me right at 45:00. I surprised myself because I really never liked jogging or running. But being 60 lbs lighter tends to make a difference. I think I'll try more of them.

60 lbs puts me right at the halfway point for my goal weight. Right now I'm still trying to find that sweet spot where I balance my diet and workouts to keep the loss at a steady pace. It's a little frustrating to see it come off slow, and by slow I mean a weight fluctuation for a few days, then a pound drop, then more fluctuation. I'm still pretty close to the 2 lb per week (or 10 day) average. Nice surprise though, I fit comfortably into size 38 jeans today.

My weight today is 274.0

reclassified. (repost)

I have made the transition from morbidly obese to severely obese, according to the Body Mass Index. Doesn't really sound all that great, going from worse to really bad, but the trend is good. And it's one of those things that you kind of notice after having read all of the materials that you get when you have this kind of surgery. I actually have a user manual. It's an acheived goal, and there is no better fuel for a journey. I am also approaching the weight at which I started college back in 92. That brings back some good memories. I can't imagine what it will feel like when I reach my goal weight. I haven't been there since....geez...I guess it's been since 9th grade or so. I can't remember.

I'm weeding out my 3X clothes now. I'm comfortable in 2X and looking at XL like a hungry lion looks at a gazelle. Shopping for clothes used to be so damn depressing. I was not a pleasant person to be around, and I preferred to do it alone. The bigger I became, the less I look at myself in the mirror. And I tended to focus above the shoulders. Only when I looked at pictures of me would I realize what I really looked like, and I didn't feel like what I looked like. It is a crappy cycle.

I go back to Woodman's office on the 22nd and I'll request another fill. Just in time for the holidays. I still feel like I am eating more than I should in order to get that full feeling. Not the bust your gut unzip your pants to breathe full, just a feeling of satisfaction. There are days when I can eat less and days that require more.

I'm a little over 2 and 1/2 months since my pre-surgery diet began, and I can see why some people don't lose weight after getting banded. The temptation to eat comfort foods is as strong as it ever was. After the healing is complete, it is easy for the old habits to start creeping in. But why have surgery if you are not willing to change your lifestyle? I fully understand Dr. Woodmans' last words to me before I was wheeled into surgery; "This surgery is not going to make you lose the weight".

My weight today is 278.0

Fill'er up please...

So I went in for my first appointment post surgery back on Oct 26th. Dr. Woodman wasn't in, so I met with his nurse practitioner. She asked a bunch of questions and showed me a chart that had 3 zones of hunger, red, yellow and green. Each zone had some descriptions about different levels of hunger and some associated side effects. I explained I was beginning to feel as if I was eating more than I need to in order to feel full. With that, she said "Let's give you a fill". I was a little surprised because most everything I read said the first fill came after the first visit.
She sprayed some topical numbing spray on my side where the port is located. I stuck my belly out (like when you're trying to look fat) as far as I could while she inserted the needle in the port and injected the saline. I forgot to ask her how much was injected, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't much. I go back Nov 23rd for a follow up and another fill if needed.
Since then, I haven't noticed much with the fill. I feel like it might take a couple of them to get in that green zone where I can eat smaller amounts. I'm still maintaining my caloric and fat budget, so no worries there.

My weight today is 282.0

36 days after....

Well, 19 days since my last post...longer than I wanted to, but it has been a busy month. My gift of procrastination was a factor. Things have been good so far. I'm still getting acquainted with my new parameters of food consumption. At this point, enough time has passed to consider my stomach fully healed. I was cleared to eat regular foods on the 21st. My incisions are still healing though. The two longest are still open wounds, but are beginning to close. They are right in an area that, when I sit or bend, contracts and expands. Also, when I work out or play racquetball, my wet shirt rubs any scab away.

Now, in my mindset, being cleared to eat regular foods means nothing to me. I'm not going to begin eating any of the foods I've been avoiding for the last two months. I will keep my caloric and fat budget as planned. I don't want to undo anything I've done so far, or get comfortable with eating those good old meals that put me in this position. And the thing that pisses me off the most is to stay at the same weight for more than a five days, which has happened twice. Based on my research, I know I will hit plateaus. Our bodies make adjustments to defend themselves. There are ways, however, to trick our bodies.

I just got back from a week long trip to Paris and Budapest. I was a little worried that I would have a hard time travelling and eating properly, but things worked out good. I stuffed my bag with my fat free tuna packets as a backup...which did come in handy. In Budapest, I shopped a local grocery store for turkey / chicken lunch meats and juices. Nothing on the packages was in English, so there was no interpretation of nutrition labels. I had to wing it....but I was confident in the choices I made. I worked out in the hotel gym when I could. I was hoping not to gain any weight, but as it turns out, I lost five pounds.

I can see a slight change in the mirror as far as my face goes. My sunglasses are a little looser. And it's the little things that are rewarding to me. I had to drill about 6 extra holes in my belt to keep from giving everybody butt crack. I can cross my legs comfortably. I'm getting quicker in the racquetball court. When I used to jump seat on my companies aircraft, it looked like I was wrestling a squirrel in my lap to get the seat belt on....now there is belt strap left over. I feel as if I'm smiling more.

The band is doing what I expected. It is an invisible barrier that I sometimes hit. It has motivated me to not give up. And after all I had to go through, it scares me to fail.

My weight today is 285.0

2 weeks after...

Everything is back to normal as far as I can tell. I'm back to the routine I had a couple of weeks before surgery. The weight loss has settled down to a slower pace having introduced more liquids and 3 meals a day. I could actually get by on 2 meals a day (bout 6 oz each), but I notice the difference in energy when I don't get enough protein. I haven't had any problems yet with eating a variety of meats, chewed very well of course. Turkey, fish and chicken have been going down good. I had read other blogs where some people had a hard time with chicken. If it's dry, I stay away from it.

It's nice to be able to fit into everything that is in my closet now. Although I can't see the weight loss in the mirror, it shows in clothes. Some stuff has been on hangars so long it has become vintage.

At 6 weeks post-op (Oct 26th), I go back for a visit with Dr. Woodman. He'll check over everything and determine if I'need a fill. I'm assuming that will be based on my feedback about hunger patterns. Although I haven't had any problems with hunger yet, I feel like that is on the horizon.

Today, my weight is 296.0

1 week

I'm still alive after a week. All of the soreness is gone, I think I coughed it all away. I'm running on about a 1/4 tank as far as energy goes, but that is getting better as I increase my intake of protein. Most of it now comes from a Whey Protein shake that I drink 3 times a day, it yields about 80g. But thank god I now transition to pureed food! I pureed a cup of vegetable soup tonight, sweet baby jesus it was so good to have a hearty taste and consistency in a meal. And I felt for the first time what it will be like to be full with the Lap Band in place. One cup was all it took. It felt sooo good to feel full.

I have been forced to do something with this surgery that I never attempted to do with any of the diets I tried. Micromanagement of nutrients, specifically fat intake. I had always set a calorie budget and shot for it. But just as important is the intake of fat. And if you took one day out of your life and wrote down the fat grams you consume, you'd see why obesity is such a problem. So, for me, my daily budget is now: calories (net) - 1000, fat grams - max 25, protein - 70-80 grams, sodium - 2400 grams. It's very hard to restrict the sodium. Most of the time, you can't find low fat and low sodium, it's one or the other. If you have an Iphone, there is an application that is perfect for tracking everything you need on a diet. "Lose It". It has been instrumental in my success. As I transition from pureed foods to solid foods, I will see the rapid weight loss subside, and the real work will begin to maintain the average 2 lb a week decline.

My weight today is 299.0