Let's see, Feb 13th to now is 113 days. Pretty bad.
I'd love to report that I've met my goal weight, but that's not the case. No fear, I haven't gained any weight, but the weight loss has come to a crawl. Only recently have I started to see the scale move again. What's going on? Hell if I know. But in my last meeting with Dr. Woodman, he asked me the same question. And before I could begin my defensive theory, he interrupted me by saying "you're obviously doing something wrong!". Yes and no in my opinion. On the YES, I have been eating things with sugar like Frosted Mini Wheats, Mike & Ike's, Fat Free Ice Cream, occasional bite of chocolate, etc.. On the NO, I am still maintaining my caloric intake budget as best as I can. My fat intake is still limited to 20 to 25 grams a day, calories between 1000 and 1500 net. I'm learning that it is not just about watching one thing. It's got to be kind of a team effort. Low fat and high calories will still result in weight gain. It is, however, a great learning process because I am my own experiment. I am the guinea pig and the scientist. With most experiments, it takes time to see the results.
I injured my calf muscle back in March while playing racquetball. It was a slight pull in the muscle behind the knee and only really bothered me when I made quick direction changes while playing. I couldn't thrust off of it. That was my main workout and best way to burn some calories. I tried to just use the elliptical for a while, but it wasn't enough. I started walking to stretch my calf, and over time, it began to heal. A mile turned into two, then three. Then I started jogging. Again, my distance and endurance picked up. So now I'm jogging three miles at a time five days a week. This is why I started to see the scale move.
I've read all about plateaus and the way the body adjusts to itself, so I've had to step back and really try to make some re-adjustments, both mentally and physically. I'm backing off the sugar a bit and increasing my jogging distance. I have also read about "caloric zig zag", and might try that for a few weeks. That is where you change the amount of calories you eat on a daily basis. This is supposed to keep the body from getting used to the same thing everyday and slowing down the metabolism. Changing the numbers will, hopefully, confuse it back into calorie burning mode. We'll see.
I also learned that avoiding my blog because I didn't have anything good to write about was a cop out. I'll try to do better.
My weight today is 248.5
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Chugging along...
The longer I go between posts, the less I remember what happened since the last.
Most recently, I'm getting over a painful bout of something going on in my stomach. For the last couple of days, I've had a cramping/knotting/butterflying/gaseous pain that has caused a level of discomfort that I haven't had in a long time. And I've never had this kind of feeling before. I went to Dr. Woodman's office to get his opinion before going to the hospital....it was that bad. He removed some fluid from my band and explained it would alleviate any swelling that might be occurring. He also said something might have gotten stuck, but I hadn't eaten anything in the last few days that was textured enough to get stuck. So, I figured I'd give it a little time before I went back to the hospital. I'll stay on liquids for the next couple of days to give my stomach a break, and see how it goes. There is a slight possibility I had some type of food poisoning from some eggs a friend gave me from his home raised chickens. I didn't have usual diarrhea or fever that goes along with it though. I don't really know what it is.
January was a long cold month...and a bit of a plateau month as well. I fluctuated from 262 to 265 for just about the whole month, even though I kept my caloric and fat budget on track. Sometimes that is just your body recalibrating its internal settings. I accept the plateaus now as part of my overall journey to change myself. They are just a sign that a change is happening. The fat me and the skinny me are at war.
During my last scheduled visit with Dr. Woodman, I explained to him that I felt I was barely in the green zone as far as hunger was concerned. I felt I could go another month without a fill. I focus now on controlling the amount of food that is in front of me rather than the amount it takes to make me fill full. Sometimes there is a lag from the time I stop eating till the time I feel full. And when I eat till I'm full, after a few minutes, I feel as if I've eaten to much.
I'm hoping to be at my goal weight by July. That would be a loss of about 8 lbs a month, very do-able. We'll see....
Today, I weigh 256.0
Most recently, I'm getting over a painful bout of something going on in my stomach. For the last couple of days, I've had a cramping/knotting/butterflying/gaseous pain that has caused a level of discomfort that I haven't had in a long time. And I've never had this kind of feeling before. I went to Dr. Woodman's office to get his opinion before going to the hospital....it was that bad. He removed some fluid from my band and explained it would alleviate any swelling that might be occurring. He also said something might have gotten stuck, but I hadn't eaten anything in the last few days that was textured enough to get stuck. So, I figured I'd give it a little time before I went back to the hospital. I'll stay on liquids for the next couple of days to give my stomach a break, and see how it goes. There is a slight possibility I had some type of food poisoning from some eggs a friend gave me from his home raised chickens. I didn't have usual diarrhea or fever that goes along with it though. I don't really know what it is.
January was a long cold month...and a bit of a plateau month as well. I fluctuated from 262 to 265 for just about the whole month, even though I kept my caloric and fat budget on track. Sometimes that is just your body recalibrating its internal settings. I accept the plateaus now as part of my overall journey to change myself. They are just a sign that a change is happening. The fat me and the skinny me are at war.
During my last scheduled visit with Dr. Woodman, I explained to him that I felt I was barely in the green zone as far as hunger was concerned. I felt I could go another month without a fill. I focus now on controlling the amount of food that is in front of me rather than the amount it takes to make me fill full. Sometimes there is a lag from the time I stop eating till the time I feel full. And when I eat till I'm full, after a few minutes, I feel as if I've eaten to much.
I'm hoping to be at my goal weight by July. That would be a loss of about 8 lbs a month, very do-able. We'll see....
Today, I weigh 256.0
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Well Happy New Year!
I feel like I've been a slacker in updating my blog in a timely manner, but my excuses sound really good to me. December was pretty busy and I'm glad to have the holidays in the rear view mirror. Also had to finish an online Masters class that, of course, I waited till the last minute to finish my assignments.
I had my third visit at Dr. Woodmans' office Dec 28th. Up to that point, I had 2 fills under my belt...well, really one since the first one wasn't really a fill per se. This time, I met with Dr. Woodman himself. The other two visits were with his nurses. Now.....Dr. Woodman has quite a reputation for being a straight shooter. He will not sugar coat anything, nor will he hesitate to chew some ass if needed. I had been hovering around 272lbs for most of December, and I attributed that to having willingly sacrificed some work out time to get other things done. Class, work, shopping, traveling, etc... I knew we would be talking about this, so like a defense attorney, I prepared my case. As I explained myself to him, I started to realize that my reasons didn't really sound so good. I was putting the one thing that I wanted, and needed, on the back burner. And come to think of it, it is at about that third or fourth month that my previous weight loss attempts reversed their course. I kinda felt like I had let him down, and his nurses, and all the people who were in the operating room on the day of my surgery, even the insurance company that made it possible. Sounds a little crazy, but that's how I think sometimes. Because I still felt I was eating more than I needed, I requested another fill. He stressed that I needed to set a portion size and eat it, not eat till I fell full. If I kept eating till I was full, there is a pretty good chance of stretching the upper pouch.
Same process, numbing spray, poke out belly, insert needle and squeeze the saline into the port. This time was a little different than the last. Last time, I actually felt a tight feeling deep inside, like the band was pinching a little more. This time, I felt nothing. I actually thought that Dr. Woodman might have given me a "ghost fill" after the little pep talk...thinking that the motivational speech might be enough to change my habits, kinda like a psychological experiment. Even a couple days after the visit, I didn't feel any different. But the third day, holy cow, what a difference. I can eat a little over half of what I was eating the week before. Not sure why the delay, but I am in the green zone now.
With my fill and renewed commitment, I've broken the plateau I was on for almost a month. I feel great and am looking forward to the next few of months. I hope to be at my goal weight by June or July. I love the reactions of people who I haven't seen in a while. While playing racquetball tonight, I received probably one of the best compliments of all time. While between games, I was talking with a group of players. One of them, a rather loud and flamboyant guy, was talking. He stopped mid sentence and said "Damn! How much weight has your fat ass lost?!" (you have to know him to get the full effect). It really made me feel good.
My weight today is 267.5
I had my third visit at Dr. Woodmans' office Dec 28th. Up to that point, I had 2 fills under my belt...well, really one since the first one wasn't really a fill per se. This time, I met with Dr. Woodman himself. The other two visits were with his nurses. Now.....Dr. Woodman has quite a reputation for being a straight shooter. He will not sugar coat anything, nor will he hesitate to chew some ass if needed. I had been hovering around 272lbs for most of December, and I attributed that to having willingly sacrificed some work out time to get other things done. Class, work, shopping, traveling, etc... I knew we would be talking about this, so like a defense attorney, I prepared my case. As I explained myself to him, I started to realize that my reasons didn't really sound so good. I was putting the one thing that I wanted, and needed, on the back burner. And come to think of it, it is at about that third or fourth month that my previous weight loss attempts reversed their course. I kinda felt like I had let him down, and his nurses, and all the people who were in the operating room on the day of my surgery, even the insurance company that made it possible. Sounds a little crazy, but that's how I think sometimes. Because I still felt I was eating more than I needed, I requested another fill. He stressed that I needed to set a portion size and eat it, not eat till I fell full. If I kept eating till I was full, there is a pretty good chance of stretching the upper pouch.
Same process, numbing spray, poke out belly, insert needle and squeeze the saline into the port. This time was a little different than the last. Last time, I actually felt a tight feeling deep inside, like the band was pinching a little more. This time, I felt nothing. I actually thought that Dr. Woodman might have given me a "ghost fill" after the little pep talk...thinking that the motivational speech might be enough to change my habits, kinda like a psychological experiment. Even a couple days after the visit, I didn't feel any different. But the third day, holy cow, what a difference. I can eat a little over half of what I was eating the week before. Not sure why the delay, but I am in the green zone now.
With my fill and renewed commitment, I've broken the plateau I was on for almost a month. I feel great and am looking forward to the next few of months. I hope to be at my goal weight by June or July. I love the reactions of people who I haven't seen in a while. While playing racquetball tonight, I received probably one of the best compliments of all time. While between games, I was talking with a group of players. One of them, a rather loud and flamboyant guy, was talking. He stopped mid sentence and said "Damn! How much weight has your fat ass lost?!" (you have to know him to get the full effect). It really made me feel good.
My weight today is 267.5
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Second Fill / 5K / Halfway
I had another monthly visit with Dr. Woodmans' office back just before Thanksgiving...on the 23rd. Got a second fill. This one was an actual fill, whereas the first fill was really just priming the line to the band (the nurse explained). I really didn't feel a change after the first one, but this one was definitely noticeable. Up to this point, I had no problem eating any kinds of food. Chicken, the main protien source of my diet, went down smooth. I now have to be a little more careful with the bite size and speed at which I eat. Sometimes it sloooooowly creeps down my oesophagus and waits in line to enter my stomach. Meats and some vegetables (broccoli) are most noticeable, everything else sems ok. I go back on Dec 28th for another visit.
I participated in my first ever 5K this morning. I've noticed on most blogs that a 5K was sort of a goal, but not for me. I was more motivated to participate with good friends and have fun. Actually, it was a lot of fun. I jogged about 1.75 miles, then had to walk for .5, then jogged the rest. Took me right at 45:00. I surprised myself because I really never liked jogging or running. But being 60 lbs lighter tends to make a difference. I think I'll try more of them.
60 lbs puts me right at the halfway point for my goal weight. Right now I'm still trying to find that sweet spot where I balance my diet and workouts to keep the loss at a steady pace. It's a little frustrating to see it come off slow, and by slow I mean a weight fluctuation for a few days, then a pound drop, then more fluctuation. I'm still pretty close to the 2 lb per week (or 10 day) average. Nice surprise though, I fit comfortably into size 38 jeans today.
My weight today is 274.0
I participated in my first ever 5K this morning. I've noticed on most blogs that a 5K was sort of a goal, but not for me. I was more motivated to participate with good friends and have fun. Actually, it was a lot of fun. I jogged about 1.75 miles, then had to walk for .5, then jogged the rest. Took me right at 45:00. I surprised myself because I really never liked jogging or running. But being 60 lbs lighter tends to make a difference. I think I'll try more of them.
60 lbs puts me right at the halfway point for my goal weight. Right now I'm still trying to find that sweet spot where I balance my diet and workouts to keep the loss at a steady pace. It's a little frustrating to see it come off slow, and by slow I mean a weight fluctuation for a few days, then a pound drop, then more fluctuation. I'm still pretty close to the 2 lb per week (or 10 day) average. Nice surprise though, I fit comfortably into size 38 jeans today.
My weight today is 274.0
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
reclassified. (repost)
I have made the transition from morbidly obese to severely obese, according to the Body Mass Index. Doesn't really sound all that great, going from worse to really bad, but the trend is good. And it's one of those things that you kind of notice after having read all of the materials that you get when you have this kind of surgery. I actually have a user manual. It's an acheived goal, and there is no better fuel for a journey. I am also approaching the weight at which I started college back in 92. That brings back some good memories. I can't imagine what it will feel like when I reach my goal weight. I haven't been there since....geez...I guess it's been since 9th grade or so. I can't remember.
I'm weeding out my 3X clothes now. I'm comfortable in 2X and looking at XL like a hungry lion looks at a gazelle. Shopping for clothes used to be so damn depressing. I was not a pleasant person to be around, and I preferred to do it alone. The bigger I became, the less I look at myself in the mirror. And I tended to focus above the shoulders. Only when I looked at pictures of me would I realize what I really looked like, and I didn't feel like what I looked like. It is a crappy cycle.
I go back to Woodman's office on the 22nd and I'll request another fill. Just in time for the holidays. I still feel like I am eating more than I should in order to get that full feeling. Not the bust your gut unzip your pants to breathe full, just a feeling of satisfaction. There are days when I can eat less and days that require more.
I'm a little over 2 and 1/2 months since my pre-surgery diet began, and I can see why some people don't lose weight after getting banded. The temptation to eat comfort foods is as strong as it ever was. After the healing is complete, it is easy for the old habits to start creeping in. But why have surgery if you are not willing to change your lifestyle? I fully understand Dr. Woodmans' last words to me before I was wheeled into surgery; "This surgery is not going to make you lose the weight".
My weight today is 278.0
I'm weeding out my 3X clothes now. I'm comfortable in 2X and looking at XL like a hungry lion looks at a gazelle. Shopping for clothes used to be so damn depressing. I was not a pleasant person to be around, and I preferred to do it alone. The bigger I became, the less I look at myself in the mirror. And I tended to focus above the shoulders. Only when I looked at pictures of me would I realize what I really looked like, and I didn't feel like what I looked like. It is a crappy cycle.
I go back to Woodman's office on the 22nd and I'll request another fill. Just in time for the holidays. I still feel like I am eating more than I should in order to get that full feeling. Not the bust your gut unzip your pants to breathe full, just a feeling of satisfaction. There are days when I can eat less and days that require more.
I'm a little over 2 and 1/2 months since my pre-surgery diet began, and I can see why some people don't lose weight after getting banded. The temptation to eat comfort foods is as strong as it ever was. After the healing is complete, it is easy for the old habits to start creeping in. But why have surgery if you are not willing to change your lifestyle? I fully understand Dr. Woodmans' last words to me before I was wheeled into surgery; "This surgery is not going to make you lose the weight".
My weight today is 278.0
Friday, November 6, 2009
Fill'er up please...
So I went in for my first appointment post surgery back on Oct 26th. Dr. Woodman wasn't in, so I met with his nurse practitioner. She asked a bunch of questions and showed me a chart that had 3 zones of hunger, red, yellow and green. Each zone had some descriptions about different levels of hunger and some associated side effects. I explained I was beginning to feel as if I was eating more than I need to in order to feel full. With that, she said "Let's give you a fill". I was a little surprised because most everything I read said the first fill came after the first visit.
She sprayed some topical numbing spray on my side where the port is located. I stuck my belly out (like when you're trying to look fat) as far as I could while she inserted the needle in the port and injected the saline. I forgot to ask her how much was injected, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't much. I go back Nov 23rd for a follow up and another fill if needed.
Since then, I haven't noticed much with the fill. I feel like it might take a couple of them to get in that green zone where I can eat smaller amounts. I'm still maintaining my caloric and fat budget, so no worries there.
My weight today is 282.0
She sprayed some topical numbing spray on my side where the port is located. I stuck my belly out (like when you're trying to look fat) as far as I could while she inserted the needle in the port and injected the saline. I forgot to ask her how much was injected, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't much. I go back Nov 23rd for a follow up and another fill if needed.
Since then, I haven't noticed much with the fill. I feel like it might take a couple of them to get in that green zone where I can eat smaller amounts. I'm still maintaining my caloric and fat budget, so no worries there.
My weight today is 282.0
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
36 days after....
Well, 19 days since my last post...longer than I wanted to, but it has been a busy month. My gift of procrastination was a factor. Things have been good so far. I'm still getting acquainted with my new parameters of food consumption. At this point, enough time has passed to consider my stomach fully healed. I was cleared to eat regular foods on the 21st. My incisions are still healing though. The two longest are still open wounds, but are beginning to close. They are right in an area that, when I sit or bend, contracts and expands. Also, when I work out or play racquetball, my wet shirt rubs any scab away.
Now, in my mindset, being cleared to eat regular foods means nothing to me. I'm not going to begin eating any of the foods I've been avoiding for the last two months. I will keep my caloric and fat budget as planned. I don't want to undo anything I've done so far, or get comfortable with eating those good old meals that put me in this position. And the thing that pisses me off the most is to stay at the same weight for more than a five days, which has happened twice. Based on my research, I know I will hit plateaus. Our bodies make adjustments to defend themselves. There are ways, however, to trick our bodies.
I just got back from a week long trip to Paris and Budapest. I was a little worried that I would have a hard time travelling and eating properly, but things worked out good. I stuffed my bag with my fat free tuna packets as a backup...which did come in handy. In Budapest, I shopped a local grocery store for turkey / chicken lunch meats and juices. Nothing on the packages was in English, so there was no interpretation of nutrition labels. I had to wing it....but I was confident in the choices I made. I worked out in the hotel gym when I could. I was hoping not to gain any weight, but as it turns out, I lost five pounds.
I can see a slight change in the mirror as far as my face goes. My sunglasses are a little looser. And it's the little things that are rewarding to me. I had to drill about 6 extra holes in my belt to keep from giving everybody butt crack. I can cross my legs comfortably. I'm getting quicker in the racquetball court. When I used to jump seat on my companies aircraft, it looked like I was wrestling a squirrel in my lap to get the seat belt on....now there is belt strap left over. I feel as if I'm smiling more.
The band is doing what I expected. It is an invisible barrier that I sometimes hit. It has motivated me to not give up. And after all I had to go through, it scares me to fail.
My weight today is 285.0
Now, in my mindset, being cleared to eat regular foods means nothing to me. I'm not going to begin eating any of the foods I've been avoiding for the last two months. I will keep my caloric and fat budget as planned. I don't want to undo anything I've done so far, or get comfortable with eating those good old meals that put me in this position. And the thing that pisses me off the most is to stay at the same weight for more than a five days, which has happened twice. Based on my research, I know I will hit plateaus. Our bodies make adjustments to defend themselves. There are ways, however, to trick our bodies.
I just got back from a week long trip to Paris and Budapest. I was a little worried that I would have a hard time travelling and eating properly, but things worked out good. I stuffed my bag with my fat free tuna packets as a backup...which did come in handy. In Budapest, I shopped a local grocery store for turkey / chicken lunch meats and juices. Nothing on the packages was in English, so there was no interpretation of nutrition labels. I had to wing it....but I was confident in the choices I made. I worked out in the hotel gym when I could. I was hoping not to gain any weight, but as it turns out, I lost five pounds.
I can see a slight change in the mirror as far as my face goes. My sunglasses are a little looser. And it's the little things that are rewarding to me. I had to drill about 6 extra holes in my belt to keep from giving everybody butt crack. I can cross my legs comfortably. I'm getting quicker in the racquetball court. When I used to jump seat on my companies aircraft, it looked like I was wrestling a squirrel in my lap to get the seat belt on....now there is belt strap left over. I feel as if I'm smiling more.
The band is doing what I expected. It is an invisible barrier that I sometimes hit. It has motivated me to not give up. And after all I had to go through, it scares me to fail.
My weight today is 285.0
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